I know you are in a loving mushy relationship but my dear, heartbreak is no respecter of cute couples. Follow this steps and your next break up won’t be so hard.
1. You have to first accept that you don’t have mind. That when this relationship ends, you’d cry, you’d not eat and you’d generally walk the earth looking morose. Accepting your truth is the first step to healing. When you are done, follow the next steps and you’ll be fine.
2. Avoid following them on social media. I know he is your boyfriend but please, don’t follow him on IG so that when IT happens, there’s no need to block him.
3. Don’t use pet names. His name is Tunde, call him that.
4. Don’t share mutual friends. Important because when y’all break up who will inherit the friends, you or him?
5. Don’t share aso ebi. Don’t split bills. And please, don’t leave any of your belongings at their place. Just in case the thing happens suddenly, you will not na be planning when to go and collect your shoes you left there on your last visit.
6. Don’t spray their scent. In fact, tell them you are allergic to perfumes so that your brain doesn’t attach a smell to them.
7. Don’t go out together. Going out means creating memories around places. Unless you can promise to not visit those places ever again.
8. Make it a point of duty to have shitty sex. It would be easy to forget. Don’t make the mistake of having beautiful wall cracking bed wrecking sex. That shit will leave a moan in your chest every single time.
9. No looking into eyes. No hand holding. No vacations.
10. Don’t even date
because quite frankly, relationships are human activities that require super human strength. You two talk everyday at 9am and 9pm and suddenly, that just stops. Nobody to tell you to bring your pussy for some good licking after a healthy plate of spaghetti has filled your tummy. Whatever it is you are supposed to do with your life requires some strength to move on. And you have it.
If you can find it in you to live and love, you certainly have it in you to live after love.
Now, drop this phone and go fall in love. Eish! No, not with my boyfriend. I will kill you.
